March 2006 Archives
I bought this Evan Hecox print almost a year ago and have yet to figure out where to put it. This is because my Apt. is the size of a computer and queen-sized futon bed.
I'd show you who was on my fantasy baseball team but you don't really care about that do you?
not sure what's going on with my site. Whatever it is it ain't exactly clear to me. I've been a bit under the weather and traveling the past week. Hope to get out from under everything and write a few blog updates soon.
This is what 30 Million dollars looks like "Just Chillin'" according to my friend.
This movie was really good:
1) Stylized but not too much (think the first Matrix)
2) Turns out Natalie Portman can act very well past the age of 13.
3) People in the theatre yelled at other people in the theatre that the film was "supporting terrorism"
4) IMAX
5) I know Alan Moore divorced himself from this project and he was right to do so. They made a very good film. It could have better...but it was really good none the less
I doubt I'll see much more than 25 total minutes of this remake. However, the trailer for Poseidom at the IMAX "V for Vendetta" showing the other night had a potential bright spot in the film. Seems like The Black Eyed Peas are performing on the ship the night the huge tidal wave capsizes the luxury liner. With luck that will be hilrious.
If all of the world's billionaires got together they couldn't put a dent in this thing.
I don't think that they want to be another state of the Union but with oil to drill they don't really have much choice.
Every year, as the theatre going public stays further away from big Blockbuster movies, brings idiotic questions as to the reasons why. I've done an extensive survey, compiled tons of statistical evidence, sent said statistical evidence to over 100 prestigious institutions for analysis, and I've just finished going to every single persons' house in the entire United States (including Hawaii AND Alaska) and here are the results:
In order for people to start going back to the movies two things need to happen:
1) Lower theatre prices
2) Make fucking watchable movies
Here's a list of the top ten coolest alarm clocks. I don't think "coolest" is the right term. Especially when yuo see what you have to do with some of them. I'd say about 3 of the alarm clocks are "cool" and the rest are schizophrenia inducing.
Russ Feingold of Wisconsin fame is trying to get something on the books before we go full into Facism. You can read it here. Since it's not used but once every 100 or two hundered years Here's what 'Censure' is.
"Government goof could save would-be hijacker"
Now, "Goof" is a nice euphemism for "breaking the law" ain't it? As in "It was so weird how Jeffery Dahmer totally goofed and left those people's body parts in the freezer."
An example of this headline about 32 years ago:
"Richard Nixon Goof may end in impeachment"
CNN: Karl Rove has nude pictures of us fellating animals.
Alot of "copy" is going the way of this new show staring a few actors I like. It's all "controversial" and freaking puritans everywhere out.
And yet, from the picture they "look like every other family."
This is quickly going to become like the "L" Worrd or "Queer Eye" in that it's really just about one thing--sex. In this case it'll be one man and a bunch of his wives' sex.
Here's a sample of what I imagine the show will be like:
Here's a world most of today's politicals would probably be happier with.
Your child will probably not make it much further if you don't make him accountable for being an idiot at some point.
At least we still have the bell bottoms from the 70s! Right people???
This article is probably the best example of the above's true calling.
This is my workspace.
Yes. That IS William Shatner
From the Drudge Report: We like to lie for the most part about news.
In the upcoming Vanity Fair Jack Abramoff shows his sociopathic side. He's trying to set himself up as the martyr of this situation and he's right about one thing--all of these corrupt and useless leaders we have should be held to the fire as well...but let's not pretend you were flipping the money changers' trays over in the Temple Jack.
Classic blurb:
"Most lobbyists meet with a committee chairman, staff, a few members. We'd meet with the whole leadership of the House and Senate, the entire committee on both sides, then create a roster of who might ideologically support the idea and get them in the war.... We'd get people firing constantly on the decision-makers. And we'd outwork everyone in the media.... Most Washington lobbyists are lazy, people of limits, people who move glacially slow. I felt my job was to go out there and save the world.... I thought it was immoral to take someone's money and not win for them. And we basically didn't lose."
The above is something that I've heard business "type A" personalities say all my life. For those of you who don't know, "Type A" personality is about an onion skin's difference from the many personality disorders spoken about on the Court TV channel. Everyone else is "slow" and "lazy" and moving at a "glacially slow" pace. Of course this thinking doesn't take in to account that while everyone else was working "slowly" you were "cheating", "lying", doing completely "illegal" things, all the while helping to further corrupt our nation's most treasured jewel--the idea of one man, one vote.
So, a big Fuck You to Jack Abramoff! I hope they do make you sweep up the reservation and drink shitty low grade alcohol, and kill your family, and settle you on radioactive/toxic land, because you my friend are an asshole.
This is what happens when the party is over.
The The Bureau of Labor Statistics (or BLS-where the "L" is silent) has released it's list of Most Unpopular jobs in the US. As Norm McDonald said many moons ago on SNL "Crack Whore" was number 1 again.
To be slightly more serious, the reason that those jobs are not being filled and therefore "unpopular" is because they are work and training intensive and terribly under-funded.
I know, I worked in The New York Public Library. The list is a bit annoying because it makes it sound like Americans don't want the jobs and so any "unemployment" rate is based on being lazy or snobby when the reality is not everyone wants to pay tens of thousands of dollars and years of training to get a job that offers you barely enough money to pay for penicilin.
"California Supreme Court Rules on Oral Sex"
This was totally not what I thought it was going to be.
There are no words. Just don't do it kids.
This one is for the mmeltdown.
For your attempt to build a bridge back into the 18th century
Hopefully they will put you on the rack.
There were a few high-lights for me in yesterday's broadcast (in no particular order):
1) When 3 6 Mafia won for the Pimp song the first person thanked in the acceptance speech went like this-
"I'd like to thank the choreographer..."
That was brilliant.
2) Clooney's opening part of his speech about his name being changed to "Oscar winner, Batman...was killed today in a freak accident."
(conversely the low point: When Clooney started going into how the Academy was putting out the civil rights agenda when it wasn't "cool" or some such sillyness...Let's not get hysterical George. That did not happen.
3) Every single cut to Joaquin Phoenix...awesomely bizarre.
4) The woman that produced Crash when she went up for the best Adapted Screenplay award. That's three different kinds of drunk!
5) The Oscar "Ad Campaigns" put together with Steven Colbert's voice as narration.
That was it. I haven't watched the entire Oscars in years and now I remember why.
Man, why did I stop drinking!
Answer: The Oscar anger™
The Oscars happened last night and they were boring.
However, if you click on the below image, you'll be on your way to seeing something that won an Oscar many years ago.
Oh yeah, it's scary and it's On!
When you have the Crane Lurk...
It's hard to stay away. But with bad weather, brother in town, and root canal, it's been hard to get a good seat at the Rollerdancing Rink.
As part of my job right now I'm compiling a huge list of email contacts for a big movie screening/wrap party. One of the names on the list is Lovelycolors. That's a fact.
I'm really hoping their email address will be something like "BlandyMcBlandleton@Gray.com"
First there is this story. It has all the hallmarks the Bush Administration has shown...people forgetting to "press buttons" to tape record events...blah blah smokescreen stuff. Then the reality of this article swoops in to make it a little clearer for you.
Here's the Video for all you sucka-non-believers.
I went in on the second oatmeal meal cause the big celebs are doing it these days). "Cinnamon Roll" flavor. It was recommended to me by Quaker. I have to say, of the three I've tried, it's the third best!
I also realized that my theory that Vicodin does not effect me at all is being proven incorrect as we speak.
Today, with the tooth recovery and all (I feel like I went 10 rounds against a Southpaw with a strong right jab), I decided to go back to my money saving Oatmeal lunch diet. All the stars are doing it.
The only oatmeal I've been eating has been the Brown Sugar flavor. Today I went for the Apple & Cinnamon. I wasn't feeling it at first. However, by the last spoonfull I knew I was going to want more later. By later I mean for my 4pm Dunch.
