Recently in Odes To Kevin's Blog Category
About a week ago I finally saw what may be my favorite Gay adult movie title:
"Just Dickin' Around"
I've begun "Temp" working. The last time I temp-ed the year was 1999; and after a week of working in the accounting department of some company down on Wall Street (where not a single person working there could tell me what exactly their Company produced) I was replaced.
I worked today for four hours:
Taking mountains of files out of filing cabinets and putting them into specially marked boxes.
Tomorrow I work for four hours:
Taking mountains of files I put into specially marked boxes and putting them back into the exact same filling cabinets from whence they came.*
* This is not an exaggeration.
Last night I thought I had allergies. Turns out the fucking woods are trying to kill me from 200 miles away.
When I woke up this morning it looked like day of the locusts outside.
I went to high-school in East Harlem USA. As with most New York public schools (today included) the buildings were and are standing historic monuments to danger and asbestos and danger again. There was a "teacher" there, we'll call him M. M wasn't actually a teacher, he was sort of the head superintendent of the school. M oversaw all of the guys that did school security and handed out bus and train passes, The Art room was across from his office and one day a loud bang was heard, a groan and M was rushed off to the ER.
Turns out, he was opening or closing one of those super large and heavy public school windows, the thing dropped and almost lopped off his arm. When he returned, a few days later, he was sporting a gnarly scar, long and staple stitched. He told everyone who asked (and even those who didn't) that he came "this close" (he would show you half an inch between his fingers) from having his artery cut.
I've always wondered if he might change that story into some kind of knife story as the years went on.
post script:
They recently replaced those Public School windows (only 14 years after the fact). Their solution at the time was to forbid anyone ffrom opening the windows...including in the summertime when it was F 90 and absolutely NO ventilation system.
If I were one of the nominated audience members with a camera on me the whole night, people at home would have thought I was a wicked coke head because of the number of times I got up every time some annoying, self-serving, ridiculous, God-fearing thing was said during the Oscars. My girlfriend counted 7 times. We watched a total of 15 minutes of the entire broadcast.
From what I saw, Ellen is a good fit for the Oscars, funny but non-confrontational, talk-show, middle-american-style humor with a little dry wit to boot.
My hair has gotten quite long over the past few weeks. I'm definitely a few weeks past my personal haircut deadline. However, things may have gotten out of hand. In the last two weeks I have come out of the shower in the morning with Tom Hanks Di Vinci Code hair.
A commercial for "Buzz Ballads"--an Alt-Rock compilation from the mid-late 90s reminded me how much I hate the song "Blue Cars" (or something pretentious with Blue Cars in the title) by Dishwalla.
It's the song that has the lines
"Tell me all your thoughts on God...cause I'd really like to meet her."
"Tell me all your thoughts on God...cause i'm on my way to meet her."
The song has always struck a cord, so very deep down inside me, of absolute RAGE, that if I had been struck by gamma rays, it would be this song that turned me into the Hulk.
However,
I've just realized that if the lines were:
"Tell me all your thoughts on God....Cause I am a total dumbass."
"Tell me all your thoughts on God....Cause I really am a dumbass."
It might be my favorite song of all time.
Went online and did my credit report. Turns out I've got the "excellent" credit.
Time to buy me a boat!
A common odd-job around my neighborhood is for older men to wash and shine peoples' cars. The weather is nice and all of the apartment/homes have driveways and parking lots/garages.
Here's a highlight of one of those business transactions just overheard today:
Man: Well hello. I'll be by this weekend to wash the car.
Woman: Yeah, I've been wondering when you were gonna come by and sodomize my car?
